I first discovered this quite by mistake when I was Camp Buck Toms as a youth. I would have to go and spend and hour a day for a week and literally watch the grass grow! LOL Or so I thought! Before long started noticing the movement of the lake, hearing the birds and squirrels in the trees and closing my eyes and feeling the wind gently breezing through the trees on the bank where I sat! It was the first time I truly felt at peace! Maybe this is what is known as a zen moment! I could literally feel the worries and stress of high school and various aspects of my life just melt away! I found the same thing when I sat alone at the beach and even when I was in Trinidad! It was amazing! I need to find that again!
Just let me say that I HATE negative energy. Although just saying that is kind of an oxymoron in itself. I dealt with a lot of it growing up. I had a football coach that hated me...my dad was kind enough to get new uniforms for the football team one year...I didn't ask him to do it. I remember my coach saying that just because someone's dad bought the team new uniforms that didn't mean he would get playing time. Of course, everyone knew who had gotten us the uniforms and the whole team pretty much looked at me! It was very awkward! I had some fellow teammates apologize to me after that...they felt bad that he would call me out like that. Oh and yes...lets not forget the "Hank Wilson Zip On Cast"...that's what the coach called my ankle that was in a cast because of a fracture in my ankle. It was always like that!
I will never forget the day that I got a small measure of revenge! LOL I had missed a block at practice so of course the coach was all over me! He made us do the same play over but had me run the ball! He told everyone on the line not to block for me (although I think a couple may have LOL). I think he wanted me to get hammered by the defense. However, what he didn't realize is that I was always pretty good and running the ball and avoiding tackles in backyard games with no pads. So I took the ball went straight up the middle and broke a run for about 60 yards! If I hadn't tripped up it might have even been a touchdown. The assistant coaches and some of the other players were cheering. They couldn't believe it! Anyways it pissed the head coach off and I got rewarded by running extra sprints after practice. To my surprise some of the other players did them with me as well as a sign of support! I will never forget that!! To me, that was a great day!
As for other negative things that bothered me over the years varied. Sometimes it was because of the stigmata I had because I didn't drink alcohol. So it was rather awkward for me at high school parties! Most of the time I was the only one not drinking. I had seen, witnessed and experienced what people could do or say when they were drunk. It was very hurtful a lot of the time so I swore I would never become that way. Granted sometimes it was funny just seeing the things people would do. So I would have to step up as well even if I wasn't drunk! LOL The best example of this was when I was in PCB with one of my best friends Chris...we were at a party...somehow I got talked into streaking with him! He was drunk and I was stone cold sober! What was I thinking! Anyways, work, plenty of stuff and drama there but that is a whole other post! I don't even want to get into all that right now!
Even with all that going on at the time I found a lot of peace when it came to scouts! The backpacking trips we would take, the views I got to see and places I got to travel was amazing! When I was doing all of that everything else seemed to melt away! Then I got into the Order of the Arrow in scouting and went through the Ordeal! That was like a life changer for me! There was certain "tests" you had to complete. I can't say much about it because the OA likes to keep it a mystery because its the way you become a member. Lets just say there was time for some hard work and self reflection! You were guided through the Ordeal by a member called a Elangomat! After I completed the Ordeal I went back through and served as an Elangomat 9 times! I really enjoyed it! I met some great people and great friends because of scouting! Its something I treasure to this day!
In closing, everyone has some good times and some bad times! I just thought that I would share some with you! I have come to the point in my life that I realize that I need to make some changes in my life...not least of all being weight loss! I need to make some inner changes as well! Maybe one day soon I will make a drive up to Camp Buck Toms or Camp Pellissippi and find my special spots! As I prepare for my new journey...my own personal Ordeal maybe I will sit down and clear my mind. Then look out across the lake...take in the beauty, hear the birds and the squirrels...close my eyes and feel the gentle breeze blowing through the trees...feel the peace...tranquility and focus once again!
